I was trying to decide on a topic for my next blog, and the word ‘elephant’ popped into my head. That’s just so totally random….and now there’s this big friggin’ elephant in the room.
Honestly, I tried to ignore it, but how do you ignore a seven-ton animal (that poops) in a two bedroom apartment? Go to the other room?
Might as well write the damn blog about elephants and get on with it.
Hey, think about this…how great would it be to be able to stick your nose in your mouth and smell your own breath? Okay, maybe not so great…but now that I think about it, elephants might have several advantages in the dating game.
For instance, they’ve got that yucky-green-stuff-in-the-teeth problem licked…no front teeth. And there’s none of that weight discrimination thing happening when everyone at the club is in the six-seven ton range. Have you always been self-conscious about your ears flapping in the wind?….mine are now looking rather dainty compared to dumbo’s. Even my wrinkly knees suddenly look kind of appealing.
Elephants do have their own set of problems I’m sure, for instance how often does your date put his nose in your plate and help himself to some of your french fries? (if you answered “all the time”, it’s time to have a relisten to “50 ways to leave your lover”).
And imagine if you accidentally sneezed while your nose was in your mouth?..you could blow the top of your head off. I don’t even want to contemplate the amount of snot a snozzola that size must produce.
But if size really does matter….weeeelllll hang on to your hat, we’re going to Georgia! (I have no idea what that means, but it sounded good).
Alrighty, I feel better now. The elephant in the room has been exorcized. I do feel obliged to tell at least one elephant joke before I go. Have you got a favorite? Remember this one?
How do you kill a blue elephant?
Shoot him with a blue elephant gun (insert groan here)
How do you kill a red elephant?
.. wait for it, wait for it….you choke him ’til he turns blue
and kill him with a blue elephant gun.
And here are a couple of the things I’ve been designing in the art department this week: (absolutely nothing to do with elephants, I’m over it) Click on the picture to go to my zazzle website.
I love these “Crazy About Polkadot” sneakers:
And this design called “Hot Metal” is available on business cards, greeting cards, mugs and more.
My photo website has been sadly ignored for a couple of weeks….taken lots of new photos but haven’t uploaded any yet. But there’s still lots of good stuff on there, so here’s the link: iiphotoArt