Dammit, I’ve been ripped off!

Apparently, other people have something called a soul mate and I feel I’ve been cheated. Where’s mine then, huh?  How come, in all my long years, I’ve never bumped into anything that remotely resembled a soul mate.

Maybe it’s because I’m not sure what a soul mate is? Is it anything like the Easter Bunny or Santa Claus?

Okay, I may be a tad cynical, but if there is a soul mate for everyone, mine is wandering around Tiffanys and I’m over here shuffling around WalMart (okay, I don’t really shuffle yet, but I’m sure I will be by the time he finds me).

Oh, by the way, Happy New Year.

This whole soul mate question began rankling me after watching “Crazy Stupid Love” with my kids over the holidays. One of my sons, who is now 38 years old, recommended it as one of his favorites. Now, biased mother opinions aside, he is a handsome, thoroughly masculine, hunky kinda guy with a ton of husband potential. Any guy sensitive and romantic enough to pick that movie, must have possibilities don’t you think? But he’s never met his soul mate. I have two other sons….same thing. No soul mates. Are we all delusional?

And when exactly did soul mates become a national objective? My parents never told me that a mysterious soul mate lurked in my future. It was supposed to be a knight in shining armour. Yes, I’m sure I remember that correctly. A clanking hunk on a white charger. Would have made for noisy sex, but hey, in those days you weren’t supposed to be doing it anyway. My siblings and I were all immaculate conceptions…..no rattling breastplates and crashing helmets in my parents bedroom; no need to even remove the gauntlets.

So, have I been duped? Was I watching for a white horse when my soul mate went charging by on a black stallion?

Or is the whole thing a myth propagated by the media to sell more movies and Valentine’s cards? What’s your opinion….do you still believe in the Easter Bunny? If you have met your soul mate, send me a picture.  I want some kinda proof that they exist.

Honestly, I’ve managed to have a wonderful life with no horse hockey messin’ up my yard…and I don’t have much interest in shopping at Tiffanys. But if you’re out there ‘soul mate’, and you’re not too senile to find it, drop by WalMart…I’ll be the little grey-haired lady causing a scene in the lingerie department. And hurry up, time is running out. I figure I might have twenty good years left in me, but after that you’re on your own.

 

What’s my NEWline? tee contest

iiphotoArt introduces fun new line of tshirts!

It’s called, strangely enough,

“NEWline”

Each tee features a simple graphic line drawing that is actually a  rebus puzzle depicting a word or phrase containing the word “line”. Below is an example.

NEWline 1

To see the design on a tee, click here.

………this one’s pretty obvious, but I’ll give you a minute to figure it out. The answer is at the bottom of this post (and that’s a blatant hint for you).

Your challenge, should you choose to accept it, is to figure out what word or phrase the next three “NEWline” tees depict.

NEWline 2

To see the design on a tee, click here.

NEWline 3

To see the design on a tee, click here.

NEWline 4

To see the design on a tee, click here.

The contest begins NOW and runs until midnight Dec.31/11.
Everyone who sends in correct answers for lines 2,3 and 4 before the deadline will be entered in a draw to win a “NEWline” tee with the design of their choice.
The best part is, there will be lots to choose from. Every day  from now through December 31, another “NEWline” tee will be added to the iiphotoART zazzle website.

These first four tees are available beginning today at iiphotoART. Visit every day to find out what the next “NEWline” will be. Just to keep it interesting, the answers to each “NEWline” will not be shown anywhere except here on this blog. That means if you like a challenge, you can buy your tee and have as much time as you want to figure it out yourself before cheating!

The rules are simple:

  1. anyone can enter (except my immediate family, so forget it you guys)
  2. you may submit only one entry per email address
  3. the winner must answer all three lines correctly
  4. entry must be received before midnight Dec.31/11
  5. there will be one winner chosen by a draw from all the winning entries
  6.  the winner will receive one tshirt, in the style and design of their choice taken from the iiphotoArt NEWline Zazzle collection

So, that’s it. Fill out your answers in the form below and good luck! Winners will be announced here and at iiphotoART by January 15, 2012.

Oh yeah, for all those who are linearly challenged, the answer to NEWline 1 is ……… “bottom line” (they’re not all this easy).

The answer list can be viewed by clicking on the link at top. I’ll add the next answer every day after the daily NEWline tee has been added to zazzle.  Lines 2, 3, and 4 will not be revealed until the new year.

How many ways do you know to skin a cat?

How many ways do you know to skin a cat?
My apologizes to all the cat lover’s for daring this gruesome question…but wait a minute…..don’t string me up yet!
 To reassure you, I do not know how to skin a cat. I have a distinct lack of knowledge in this area. I assume you could go from top to bottom, front to back maybe? tippytoes to tail? That would be strictly supposition of course…..I  have no personal experience with the situation.  It has got me thinking though, hmmmmm…..if I was going to, how would I…oh, sorry,that’s not really what I wanted to talk about.
The real question is, why in the world do I say ‘there’s more than one way to skin a cat’?!!! Okay, granted, I don’t say it often, but I have said it. And I say it with such authority…as if I really did know what I was talking about!  I use that and other weird, home-grown expressions…without giving it much thought. 
Did this saying originate back-in-the-day when people really did skin cats??? Was there such a day? Ugggghhh. All right, I admit I have no love for cats…they’re just so darned snotty, but I don’t skin everything I take a disliking to. As a matter of fact, I’m humane enough to  transport spiders outside instead of squishing them.
 Ok,  I’m a humane, blathering idiot….and, like a cat, I’m curious. Curious about everything. Including skinning cats, including this strange language that pours unintentionally from my mouth. Yes, I know, curiousity killed the cat. But wait…..do I know that? Is it really dead? There are  certainly enough of them running around alive. There’s this big orange tomcat who turns up his nose at me every day as he blithely poopoos in my garden…and he’s certainly curious enough to be the one they mean.
On reflection though, I use too many of these old expressions…more than you can shake a stick at.
Why are you shaking a stick at me? You look really silly.

Nevermind, this blog has all gone to pot (and you can interpret that expression any way you want)
For more humour, check out some of the wacky truisms on my new site at zazzle. Lots of great gifts for that person who has everything (including a sense of humour).

And yes, I’m still busy with the photography too. The header image above is a composite image called “Vancouver Lightshow”…you can find this one and more on my photo website for iiphotoArt

Keep having fun! talk to you soon.

Barb