Are you a Dr. Dolittle…do the animals talk to you?

Do animals talk to you? I don’t mean the totally-whacked-out-voices-in-your-head kind of talk to you, but do you project human emotions and speech onto the animals you run into? I do. Because I can. It’s my blog and I can do whatever freakydeaky thing I want and hey, why not, it’s fun!

This gull for instance, in my feverish little brain, sounds just like my brother Neale, except with a sort of upperclass, English accent…slightly snooty and unfailingly polite.

And this handsome guy speaks to me in a Humphrey Bogartish kinda tone, oozing smooth and self-confidence…and he has an excellent pickup line.

But apparently, animals have a different mindset than us, because they say things that you just don’t hear in everyday conversation:

And are you like me? do you hover like a hungry lion over the card section in the drugstore …waiting to pounce on that perfect card? I could (and have) spent hours reading all the goofy animal cards. Mostly, I’m left feeling hungry. I end up looking at their cute little faces and have to write new lines for them because the cardwriters humour is just a little too bland for my tastes…I like something that packs a punch…maybe with a smidge of weirdness thrown in there for flavor.
Finally though, I have the perfect solution, I’m using my own photos and adding my own text…that means no more saccherine-sweet cards for Auntie Mable; no more lovey-dovey-googoo-gaga stuff for my sons’ birthdays. It’ll be nothing but poop and crunching birdbones from now on….now that I can talk to the animals and they are talking back.

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