Is there an elephant in the room?

I was trying to decide on a topic for my next blog, and the word ‘elephant’ popped into my head. That’s just so totally random….and now there’s this big friggin’ elephant in the room.

Honestly, I tried to ignore it, but how do you ignore a seven-ton animal (that poops) in a two bedroom apartment? Go to the other room?
Might as well write the damn blog about elephants and get on with it.

Hey, think about this…how great would it be to be able to stick your nose in your mouth and smell your own breath? Okay, maybe not so great…but now that I think about it, elephants might have several advantages in the dating game.

For instance, they’ve got that yucky-green-stuff-in-the-teeth problem licked…no front teeth. And there’s none of that weight discrimination thing happening when everyone at the club is in the six-seven ton range. Have you always been self-conscious about your ears flapping in the wind?….mine are now looking rather dainty compared to dumbo’s. Even my wrinkly knees suddenly look kind of appealing.
Elephants do have their own set of problems I’m sure, for instance how often does your date put his nose in your plate and help himself to some of your french fries? (if you answered “all the time”, it’s time to have a relisten to “50 ways to leave your lover”).

And imagine if you accidentally sneezed while your nose was in your mouth?..you could blow the top of your head off. I don’t even want to contemplate the amount of snot a snozzola that size must produce.

But if size really does matter….weeeelllll hang on to your hat, we’re going to Georgia! (I have no idea what that means, but it sounded good).

Alrighty, I feel better now. The elephant in the room has been exorcized. I do feel obliged to tell at least one elephant joke before I go. Have you got a favorite? Remember this one?
How do you kill a blue elephant?
Shoot him with a blue elephant gun (insert groan here)
How do you kill a red elephant?
.. wait for it, wait for it….you choke him ’til he turns blue
and kill him with a blue elephant gun.

And here are a couple of the things I’ve been designing in the art department this week: (absolutely nothing to do with elephants, I’m over it) Click on the picture to go to my zazzle website.
I love these “Crazy About Polkadot” sneakers:

And this design called “Hot Metal” is available on business cards, greeting cards, mugs and more.

My photo website has been sadly ignored for a couple of weeks….taken lots of new photos but haven’t uploaded any yet. But there’s still lots of good stuff on there, so here’s the link: iiphotoArt

Some random thoughts on creativity.

Someone recently told me that I was very creative. At the time, I said a polite thank you, but walked away thinking “Who me? They obviously don’t know what the heck they’re talking about” (okay, to be honest, I probably said “hell”, but that’s a discussion for a whole other blog).
Anyway, my point is, someone like a Jonathon Winters or a Robin Williams who can ramble off a myriad of random thoughts spontaneously; that’s a creative mind…but it’s certainly not me.
I have to work at it. Hell (oops, that one slipped out) I don’t even have fantasies because it’s too much work. What I create doesn’t just drop into my head from the cosmos fully-formed, I have to struggle with it for a while before it takes shape.
So I mentioned all this to my son (not the fantasies part, that’s TMI). His take on it really made me re-evaluate my self-perception. Basically his response was: ‘What you’re talking about is divine intervention, not creativity. Of course you have to work at it! It wouldn’t be any fun if it was all just handed to you.”
Wow…just like that….I ‘m an artist. A struggling artist. Halleluya!
So here are a couple of the babies I created this week (with more pain than any childbirth I ever suffered, I might add). They’re from a new line of products I call IMH™ (In My Heart).
For some reason all those popular I ♥ signs you see everywhere bug me…forgive my literal brain, but when I see that cute little ♥ symbol, I automatically translate that as “heart”, not “love”. Anyway, another problem solved. Now I have everything I love, right where it belongs…inside my heart.

These, and lots more on my zazzle site at iiphotoArt
Maybe I am creative….(I’ll have to struggle with that concept for a while).
And I do have random thoughts (there goes one now) but I just can’t vocalize them like Robin Williams. Maybe what I really need is a good speech therapist. Anyone got a referral?